At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
