hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
