just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
