I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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