I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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