I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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