We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
