She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
