Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I can't put those talents on a resume
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize