Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours

Fav 9 1852 877
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(310): View more from California

i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son

Fav 19 1143 4458
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(917): View more from New York City

someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.

Fav 6 4267 1274
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(702): View more from Nevada

whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want

Fav 39 7477 1808
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(619): View more from California

Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.

Fav 10 1522 3203
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

Blow your rape whistle

Fav 22 3332 1395
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(+61): View more from Australia

A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.

Fav 5 2132 740
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(618): View more from Illinois

Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful

Fav 1 63 13
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(425): View more from Washington

I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.

Fav 0 9 19
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