Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
