Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
