so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
