I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
