Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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