I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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