Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
