I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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