"it" just moved
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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