i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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