Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
