i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
