I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
