Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
