I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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