Nicole vs. Life
can u get pink eye on your cock?
smell my finger.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
