Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Where did you get a picture of my penis
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
