Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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