just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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