I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
