Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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