i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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