she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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