I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
