Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
two words...techno handjob
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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