Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize