theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
