i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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