Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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