im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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