i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
