Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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