I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
