I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Bring me that man meat
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
