Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
