i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
