Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
