Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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