You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The air was thick with penises
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
