1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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