Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
