i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
