i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
