Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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