oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
