Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
