I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
