So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
