i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
