What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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