The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
